Reaching Out

Winter 2002

President of Community Relations
Gwenyth M. DeLee

Note to Parents:
Solution's Not "Out There"

As a society, our collective response to the perils that threaten our children's quality of life and safety is one of alarm. We fear for their safety in the midst of violence and drugs. Even our children's health is being threatened. Escalating health issues such as obesity and diabetes are of major concern. Did you know that now over a thousand children per year, under 13 years of age, experience major strokes related to arterial blockages?

These trends are not occurring in a vacuum or because our DNA has changed. I propose that they are, for the most part, a consequence of the life-styles and example that we, the adults of our society are living. The shocking part is that we're wasting our energy and money looking for answers "out there" and not acknowledging that it is our role modeling that is forming our kids' health, ethics and environment.

We can solve these problems if we're willing to work on what causes them. From a societal standpoint, it would be a revolution in our thinking - a really significant, but elementary change of attitude - something like Child Guidance and Formation 101: the life-style of adult parents and mentors speaks much louder than their words. The bottom line - children's values and behavior are formed in the workshop of daily life reflected in the adult community.

In the Family Life Seminar, we are demonstrating that parents who change their behavior and example effect positive changes in their children. These adult changes mean the difference between cooperation and confrontation, communication or alienation, and most of all, the difference between peace or chaos in the family.

Like you, I care deeply about our children and their future, which is our future as well. Your investment of time and money in Home Management Resources means that parents have access to life-affirming instruction and unfailing support from our counselors, staff and volunteers.

In closing, I want to share with you a note I received a couple of months ago from a grateful parent named Tracy who graduated from our Family Life Seminar in 1996.

Dear Gwen and all the counselors who have helped and taught me,

I have put off writing this for many years now, only because words cannot express my profound gratitude. Your wisdom, teaching and input have improved my life and the life of my family immensely. I am truly grateful for my children's sake that they are the beneficiaries of your ministry. Keep up the good work and God bless you.

God bless you, too, Tracy, and we will keep up the good work.

My best to you all.

                    Gwen

From the Executive Director
Devee Mulanix

Skills for life

During the past three months, I have been faced with some challenges in my personal life that were "unexpected". I don't know why I thought I should be exempt from these little 'life surprises'. The first thing I began telling myself was... "It's really not that bad and you can handle this. Keep positive thoughts, and just do it." For about five minutes that "self pep talk" worked. After that a feeling of panic started to seep in. Now begins my search through my "life skills" file to recall my strength for dealing with "trying times". As a graduate of the Family Life Seminar and a counselor for Home Management Resources, I have realized our life skills are just that... SKILLS FOR LIFE. At any time in your life, you can use what is taught in the Family Life Seminar and apply it to your every day life.

Being a member of the Home Management staff I see people everyday who are in various stages of their life; recently married, parents, divorced, empty nesters and grandparents. There are times when our teachings have a greater immediate impact on some than on others. However, I guarantee everyone will use what we teach at some point in their lives. For over fifteen years Home Management Resources has impacted families in our community and I realize that even though I spend more time than I used to reading labels on moisturizing creams, looking for the "miracle" cream, and having my hair "highlighted" (a nice way to describe covering the gray hairs), my needs are the same as the students attending the Family Life Seminar.

We are always facing the unexpected. Sometimes we have to tap the very bottom of our resources to deal with the stress that comes with daily living. Our current technology has brought us the conveniences of cell phones and e-mail, however, we still have laundry to wash, meals to prepare, and family to care for. Nurturing is needed by every family member and yes, even your pets and your plants. No living thing can thrive without attention, including ourselves. In our teachings we stress that taking care of yourself is the greatest gift you can give your family, and it truly is. Our children learn from our example, positive or negative, we really do set the tone and behavior of daily life for our family. Right now I am using the teachings of the Family Life Seminar more than I was a year ago.

A few months ago I had the pleasure of being part of the teaching team for the pilot program at the Center for the Homeless. As I was teaching I found I was gaining just as much from the instruction as the clients. I became the student once again. Each of us touches other human beings through character, words and actions. It doesn't matter if you are a resident of a Homeless Center, a single parent, grandparent, the caretaker of elderly parents, living in an apartment or in a mansion, Home Management Resources can make a difference in anyone's life.

Center For The homeless
and Home Management
"Team Up"
By Mary Last, Life Skills Coordinator, Center for the Homeless

The Center for the Homeless has been incredibly blessed in the last year to have formed a partnership with Home Management Resources, Inc. Both organizations believe in the importance of treating individuals with dignity. It does not matter if they are wealthy or financially challenged; all have the right to reach their God given potential. As a result of this association, the women at the Center have been evidencing success in many areas of their lives. The instruction offered in Home Management's New Beginnings seminar utilizes an interactive format based on real-life situations that demonstrate the process of change. It provides solid instruction and the supportive encouragement needed to make good choices in the individuals own life and for the quality of their family life as well. We know of no other program whose instructional foundation is as comprehensive as the Home Management seminar in dealing with the cause of personal and family dysfunction. The seminar addresses the areas of personal time management; overcoming fear and procrastination; paper organization, clearing out clutter and effective cleaning techniques; setting priorities; financial goals and objectives; family meetings, delegation and discipline; nutrition and good health. The course of instruction provides our guests the knowledge and confidence they will need to overcome chaotic and dysfunctional situations in their living environment.

I would like to share a couple of stories from the women who participated in Home Management's New Beginnings seminar. Betty, (all name are changed to protect confidentiality) had been through much of the programming at the Center for the Homeless, but struggled in keeping her home environment livable. After utilizing the "Bailout" procedure taught by Home Management, (a technique used to regain and improve the state of order and harmony in the living environment), Betty stated she had new pride in herself and in her clean room. Where she had been receiving "0%" on room checks, she began to score "100%" on every room check after participating in the New Beginnings seminar. She has since successfully moved out of the Center, and is self-sufficient.

Sue, another resident at the Center for the Homeless, struggled with multiple health challenges. She could barely arise in the morning and successfully navigate through a normal day. After attending the New Beginnings seminar presented by Home Management Resources, Sue volunteered to clean the room where the seminar was presented. She performed this task above and beyond expectations and accumulated volunteer hours that she was able to add to her resume. Sue is now successfully engaged in the rest of the Continuum of Care at the Center for the Homeless, and is growing by leaps and bounds.

Several of the women, who attend the Home Management program at the Center for the Homeless, are diabetic. This presents difficulty for them in the area of dietary restrictions. Home Management's New Beginnings seminar addresses nutritional issues with the class, and assists them in looking at ways to modify their diets and improve their health. Home Management volunteer counselors display incredible dedication to the students in the New Beginnings seminar, at the Center, by providing fresh fruits and nutritious snacks each week. Their caring is shown as they bring these gifts to the Center, even on days when they are not scheduled for class. As a result many of the women struggling with diabetes have taken a new interest in themselves and in their health.

Home Management has developed a significant presence at the Center for the Homeless and is recognized in small but outstanding ways. For example, many Center guests frequently ask, "When will the next Home Management class begin?" This is proof that Center guests are feeling the love and commitment of the volunteer Home Management counselors. Throughout the day, women are heard and seen using concepts taught in the New Beginnings seminar, including the "5% Course Correction", (to make positive changes in their lives), to writing out their daily plan and doing a "Quick pick up" in their living quarters.

It is truly a blessing to have partnerships with dedicated and genuinely caring organizations such as Home Management Resources working with the Center for the Homeless to end the suffering of homeless individuals and families in our community. Our mission at the Center for the Homeless is to bring the best community resources we have to our guests, as we believe our guests deserve only the best. Indeed, this is exactly what Home Management Resources provides… THE BEST. We look forward to a long and successful partnership.

Deborah Dwyer a quiet, dignified woman
who speaks directly and honestly.
By Evelyn Goad

The supportive atmosphere that encourages relationships among the students is an important part of the Family Life Seminar. Each and every person adds so much to the class. The volunteer counselors who share their wisdom and kindness through service are fundamental to the success not only of the Seminar but of Home Management Resources as an organization.

Deborah Dwyer is one such volunteer counselor. She is a quiet, dignified woman who speaks directly and honestly. She is dedicated, caring and has a joyous spirit.

Deborah attended the Family Life Seminar and could have been overlooked because of her quiet manner, but when Deborah spoke, the sincerity of her commitment to strong families was heard loud and clear. "It is important to affirm people. Home Management Resources' Family Life Seminar is a program of affirmation, respect and love. It has encouraged me to move forward" says Deborah.

Deborah has raised three children and currently is raising her granddaughter. She has lived in South Bend for twenty years, where she has volunteered as a tutor at Oliver and Muessell schools. Deborah has also served on the Crisis Intervention Hotline and has served as a friend to clients at CANCO by running errands and helping with other needs. "I feel it is our responsibility to be of service to others".

Deborah is a member of the Society of Decorative Painting. She started decorative painting in 1988 and is also a member of the Historical Society of Early American Decoration.

Recently she shared her talent by decorating a bench for our "Mothers' Garden". The bench is painted with delicate flowers, greenery, butterflies and songbirds. It's flanked by large pots of annual and perennial flowers and above the bench is a wooden plaque bearing the names of women who made a difference in the lives of others.

"When I was asked to become a volunteer counselor for Home Management Resources I felt honored, relates Deborah. The Family Life Seminar offers a beautiful progression of philosophy and practicum; everything is there to encourage, motivate and support families as they begin to make positive changes in their homes. The financial information given by Home Management is simple, and I found it to be so useful. There is nothing unnecessary in this course. Each presentation is relevant, encouraging and powerful. I am grateful to be a part of teaching something that is of infinite value".

Thanks to Kettles for Kitchens!

Two or our Family Life Seminar graduates have each received a complete set of cookware, kitchen linens and table service for their family courtesy of "Kettles for Kitchens". Both families are Habitat partner families as well and had just moved into their new homes.

Funding Corner

The staff changes you read about in the last newsletter left a vacancy in Fund Development. I have agreed to fill that spot. I am learning that raising money can be fun and rewarding! I have found so many people willing to help me learn quickly and I am encouraged by the generosity. I have been pleasantly surprised, as well, to receive advice from other agencies who are competing with us for the same charitable dollar. It just proves the integrity of people who believe in the need to strengthen families.

As part of my fund development work I have researched and written several grants. One grant proposal was to submitted to Newman's Own, (a culinary company founded by the actor Paul Newman). The grant requested funding for our child care. If received we would be awarded the funds to hire enough child care workers to offer free child care for every Family Life Seminar conducted in our facility. This would ensure that any parent wishing to attend the Family Life Seminar mornings or evenings, would have the child care they need.

To assist in our printed materials production a grant proposal was prepared for Granger Sunrise Rotary Club. The funding, if awarded, would cover the cost of an electric binding machine.

Two grant proposals have been submitted to Wells Fargo Bank's Family Foundation. One proposes funding to cover the cost of 19 students to attend the Family Life Seminar. While we do not currently nor have we ever charged a tuition fee for our seminar, there is definitely a cost in providing the seminar and there is significant value received.

The other proposal would provide funding for the New Beginnings Seminar for people in crisis. Currently, our New Beginnings Seminar is being presented at The Center for the Homeless and is having a positive influence on the mothers who are residents in the Center. This coming spring we will provide the same New Beginnings Seminar to Hope Rescue Mission. We are very excited about reaching the families at Hope. The New Beginnings Seminar teaches the skill needed to restructure their lives in a positive way.

It is our goal to make a visible change in our community; teaching families the skills needed to manage a peaceful, orderly home, one family at a time.

Ruthanne Seitz
Director of Fund Development